Another cold day in Brum. That’s Birmingham, yeah. It’s grim. It’s Northern (TM). Phil wanders down the back alley past all the rough ‘uns, but they don’t give him no shit, ‘cos he is a bloke. You could tell from the scent. A heavy night out last night had culminated in him throwing kebabs at the goths and hippies because they “needed a fucking wash”.
Arriving at the working men’s club where they rehearsed right on the dot, because, as a working class LAD, it’s his duty, says hello to the rest of his band. Martin, Stu, Matty and John are there setting up their stuff, clutching tightly their Stella cans all the while, ‘cos they are blokes. Phil sits down and half-jokingly suggests that they “do that old one, y’know that ‘See It Thru’ song, yeah? Chips.”
John, always the most serene of the lot, only having been arrested for violent behaviour three times, punches him in the face - still with Stella can in hand - ‘cos he is a bloke.
With everything eventually set up, the band tore through their set, which consisted of their underselling album ‘Love It When It Feels Like This’. Afterwards, they had a friendly game of pool, with Matty only attacking everyone twice with the cue, with can of Stella in hand, ‘cos he is a bloke.
Ladies and gentlemen, THE TWANG.
*Just incase any ‘blokes’ happen to stumble upon this, looking for a ‘how to dress like the Twang’ guide, a ‘tale’ can be made up, and in this case, is. Lighten up and stop constantly looking like you need a shit!
